When You Realize Your Relationship Is A Lie: What's Next?

Love is wonderful but often hurts like hell. It’s a special and devastating kind of pain when you realize your relationship is a lie.

Relationships require trust to thrive, but it’s easy to trust the wrong kind of person. Some people are masters of disguise, dressing themselves up as something they’re not and using others for their own gains. When this happens in the world of love and your emotions are invested, the end result can be devastating. How do you know if your relationship is a lie?

Going into dating with your eyes wide open is the only way to do a little potential damage limitation.

#1 You’re dating a narcissist. If you’re dating a narcissist, your relationship is a lie. That’s the simplest explanation. Narcissists are not capable of feeling and showing love. They have a total lack of empathy within them. In that case, a true and healthy relationship isn’t possible. Narcissists use and abuse those around them for their own gains. You deserve better.

#2 You’re being used. There are a million reasons why someone might be using you, and none of them are okay. Narcissists use you to look good. Nonetheless, others use for different reasons, such as money, convenience, a place to stay, work, the list goes on. In this case, the relationship is a lie because it’s not about love. It’s about something they’re getting from you, or you provide to them.

#3 They’re cheating on you. When someone cheats on you, does that automatically mean the relationship is a lie? Sometimes, but not always. Mistakes are made and it’s down to you to decide whether you can forgive and move on, or whether you can’t.

However, if your partner is cheating on you time and time again, your relationship is a sham. You truly do deserve someone who treats you with a hell of a lot more respect.

#4 They don’t see a future with you. If you’ve been dating someone for a while and assume there’s a deep commitment, you would expect some kind of long-term future together. If your partner doesn’t see things that way, but they tell you or show you the opposite, you’re being manipulated. The type of situation can easily lead you to waste many years with the wrong person. It’s a dangerous relationship to be in for that reason.

#5 The foundation is built upon a lie.  They might have told you that they were divorced when they were merely separated. Maybe they told you that they were struggling with being cheated on in a former relationship, when nothing of the sort happened. They might have children that they haven’t told you about.

It can be anything, big or small, but a lie is a lie. When a lie isn’t rectified and the truth told, it continues to snowball into something bigger and threatens the future of a relationship.

#6 You’re hidden away. If you’ve been seeing each other for a while and assume you’re in a relationship, you should be openly going out, meeting friends and family, and not hidden away. If you’re hidden away, your relationship is a lie because your partner doesn’t want anyone to know about the two of you. Huge shame on them, I say.

Here is what to do if you find out that your relationship has been a lie

Learning your relationship is a lie isn’t something I would wish on anyone, but it happens far more often than you would imagine. People can be manipulative and dishonest sometimes. If you happen to meet one of them, or a good person who has lost their way, you can easily end up entangled in something not good for your emotional health.

How can you avoid this? There is no magical way to understand someone’s intentions and truth as soon as you meet them. Even when you get to know someone, they can shock and surprise you in the worst way. Love really is a risk, but it’s one you should take to find true relationship happiness in the end.

Learning your relationship is a lie is a painful experience. But, it’s one you can learn and grow from in time. Then, you’ll meet someone who deserves you for the wonderful person you are.