How to be the perfect girlfriend without sacrificing yourself

Those Instagram or Pinterest posts about being the perfect couple or girlfriend seem way too cheesy and easy. Don’t you think? The answer is actually subjective. Dating is undeniably one of life’s greatest experiences and love is truly, a feeling to be embraced by the heart. While couples or social media posts surrounding you suggest that relationships are a piece of cake, I’m sure you know that it isn’t true. It’s actually tons of hard work with compromise, understanding, sacrifices and more.

However, no matter the relationship struggles, women always seem to focus on one thing: how to be the best ever girlfriend to their partners. This is a common opinion and want, that even researchers seem to levy upon. Studies suggest that most of the times, women only focus on being the perfect girlfriend, and as a result forget about the other important parameters in the relationship. For them, showing the portrayal of a perfect and idol-like persona of a girlfriend highly matters.

However, women need to realise that an ideal image of being the perfect girlfriend is good, but not at the expense of giving up their own wants, needs and preferences. If you think that being submissive and scarifying your likes will give you the perfect girlfriend trophy, then you’re wrong. You don't always have to compliant and unassertive in front of your partner. There are many more ways to be the ideal girlfriend you’ve wanted to be. The best part is, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself.

1. Set boundaries for yourself

Taking time for yourself separately in a relationship may seem like an impossible task for many women, but it’s absolutely necessary. You have to know your worth and also learn to say no to certain things. Even if your partner doesn’t approve of your defiance, stick to your needs and learn to also fight for them. No means no. This can apply to emotional or sexual matters as well. This situation will also help you to analyse your partner’s behaviour towards your independent thoughts and beliefs. If they take time and eventually accept your new side, then your partner is worth it. But, if they continue to suppress or go against your wishes, then maybe you need to rethink your decision.

2. Be clear about what you want from each other

Expectations are a major thing in relationships and so, it’s important to discuss what you want from each other from the very first day. Some may think that the relationship can be a casual one, and thus there is no need to set strong expectations from day one. But know this, expectations don’t have to be very big, they can be small like-you can ask your partner to just inform you once if they plan to go out for dinner or just some snacks. Food maybe a touchpoint for you, so these situations automatically becomes relative. Your partner may also have certain preferences that they would expect you to follow, and if they seem rational enough, be supportive and go through them.

3. Tell them what makes you upset

Humans can’t read minds though they wish for it more than anything. If you feel upset about any such particular matter, avoid keeping it within yourself. Communication is a major factor in keeping couples close and if you don’t communicate your feelings directly with your partner, it can get worse later. If you both frequently fight, then it’s important to stop for once and discuss with your partner. Chances are that your partner may not understand certain things or are unsure of experiences. In these cases, let them take their time to eventually understand and come in terms with things as how they are. Help them evaluate the highs and lows of a relationship with love and care.

4. Allow yourself to vulnerable

Let yourself be in the flow. You’re in a relationship where you can be yourself and not worry about being judged. That’s what love, trust and understanding are. So, it doesn’t make sense to boil up all your emotions and keep them locked within your mind and soul. Of course, if you’ve been scared to express yourself, taking baby steps towards communicating with your partner more frequently can be really helpful. Let your partner know and appreciate the wild, crazy side you have. You should also try and understand your partner’s thoughts and ideologies to bond better and be more perceiving f each other’s emotions. Truly allowing yourself to be vulnerable isn’t only about emotions but also opinions, trust and compatibility.

5. Always remember, you’re your own person

Maintain your independence while being in a relationship. Realise that you’re an individual who has separate thoughts and feelings, that may be contrary to the person you’re romantically involved with. Many times, opposites attract and thus, you may not completely agree with your partner. That’s alright. Be productive on your own terms, do things that make you feel wholesome and free and try not to be clingy to your partner. They would also want their own space. You can also schedule your day in a way where you can divide equal parts of it towards yourself and your relationship. Balance is the key and having autonomy is the way to go.

These points are very clear towards making you understand that your role as a girlfriend isn't only to fulfil your partner’s wishes and wants. Equal parts of everything will lead to happy, fights-free relations.