How to fix a relationship that seems unfixable

If you still love your partner and are willing to work on your relationship, follow these easy steps on how to fix a relationship. They’re so easy it almost seems silly to try. But really, what have you got to lose?

It’s easy and can bring back the happiness that’s lost in all the confusion and pain.

1. Start communicating again.

How did you deal with the situation the last time you disagreed with your partner, or had a little fight? Most couples prefer to just end an argument with slammed doors and sulking evenings rather than face the situation, sort it out and clear the air. Blame it on egos!

You could give each other some space for a couple of days and wait for the issue to get sorted out by itself. But by avoiding a confrontation, you would end a fight but you really can’t understand each other or help each other. Problems that are brushed under the carpet have a way of raising a stink every now and then.

The next time you’re feeling frustrated and lonely, talk about it with your partner and try to get over the issue. And remember, when you talk to your partner, don’t get into the conversation so they can hear about YOUR problems and YOUR complaints. LISTEN, so you can hear them out and try to UNDERSTAND what they’re going through, even if it makes no sense to you.

2. Forgive each other.

We’re all human, and all of us make mistakes, even the most perfect of people. If you want to know how to fix a relationship and have a successful one, both of you must learn to forgive each other. And most importantly, you must remember to never judge your partner for their past errors.

It takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they believe may be bad or hurtful. Being vulnerable is hard, even when you love someone deeply and feel comfortable talking to them. Can you imagine how difficult it must be for your partner to be vulnerable with you when they feel judged at the same time?

When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.

The day either of you stop sharing your feelings and thoughts with each other is the day your relationship starts to drift apart, even if only by a small bit every day.

If you believe something is wrong in the relationship, or if your partner’s done something objectionable, talk to your partner without accusing them or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about it instead of yelling or cursing at your lover. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and understand their point of view. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.

3. Compatibility where it matters.

Compatibility is crucial if you want to know how to fix a relationship. In several cases, opposites attract and you may find yourself dating or married to someone who has nothing in common with you.

But if you think about it, perhaps, it’s those differences that brought both of you closer. Sometimes, compatibility doesn’t lie in sharing similar likes and dislikes, it lies in wanting to understand and experience the ways of your partner. If you’re having issues with compatibility and want to fix your relationship, you’d know what this means.

If your partner’s too carefree or lighthearted, you may be in love with your partner because you admire that quality, however much it may annoy you at times. Compatibility isn’t about how similar both of you are, but how well you mesh together as a couple.

Don’t look at your differences as burdens, instead look at it as something that either of you can learn from each other. Make a conscious effort to understand your partner and understand their behavior. By understanding each other’s minds, both of you can change and become better individuals and a better couple.

4. Compromise when it doesn’t hurt you.

Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals fail as a couple because of this one issue alone. Seriously, how difficult is it for couples to learn to give in selflessly once in a while? Over recent years, men and women have become too bullheaded and stubborn.

Couples don’t like to give in, and it’s always my way or the highway. But think about it, if you truly love your partner, seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it? 

If your partner’s happiness matters so much, why not go out of your way to compromise on something they like just to see your partner happy? If you can’t give in now and then, you’re cohabiting with your partner, and you’re not really in love with them.

Of course, it’s never good if one person always gives and the other person just takes. It has to be mutual. For starters, you could even keep count if nothing helps. Every time your partner compromises for you, you need to compromise for your partner. Over time, these things will begin to come naturally.

5. Growing together through life.

Relationships need to grow constantly, just like how individuals need to grow. When a relationship stagnates, you start to lose interest in it and soon, you stop caring about it. And one fine day, you may not even want to do anything for, or with your partner.

Both of you start taking each other for granted and before you know it, the relationship comes to a grinding halt. If you want to know how to fix a relationship, you need to heal it from the inside. You can mend a bird’s wing, but you can’t really heal the bird until you help the bird move and fly.

Learn to improve a relationship and better it, learn from each other and give enough space to each other to grow as individuals. Only by becoming better individuals can both of you become better lovers.